1) I usually say what I mean and, often, to a fault. Just know that when this happens, a) I am not sorry and b) you're welcome. Honesty is hard to come by.
2) My intuition is ridiculously strong. Often, before I am told something, especially as it concerns me, I've already had some dream or sign that makes some things downright unsurprising. This is weird and it also kind of takes the spice out of life for me. I can honestly admit to being absolutely surprised and sideswiped at one point in my entire life, and that took almost 27 years (kudos to Alex and Shardonay...*slow clap* lol)
3) I have honestly loved (in the heart-sense, not "biblically" lol) only three men in my entire life; I've only been in love with one.
4) I hate cliques and mob mentality. Needless to say, this has troubled some of my aspirations and relations as I've moved through some very small professional and social circles. Just keep having to tell myself, "It be like that sometimes," and keep the movement fluid.
5) I truly value my friends, but sometimes I don't know if they know it. When my attention has been set to something, I am usually unreachable or out of touch for a long period...at least until the chosen mission has been accomplished. My heart and mind are often at odds about this. Those who really know me (which a few of you do :) ) know that I'm only a phone call away, whether the news is of a festival or a funeral. Believe that I am trying to get better at this...
6) I don't trust too many people. Outside of immediate family, maybe one or two people. Total. To go into any further detail here would be more than I'm willing to confess today. :)
7) My biggest fear at this point of my life is never having my own family (specifically, kids). Maybe I was conditioned to be this way, having observed my parents in action, but I just feel this as necessary to my life. I'm in no rush, at all; I'm broke, single and a grad student. It'll be a while, lol... But I know exactly what I want in this area of my life, and I can't say that for any other part of my life at this point.
8) As of Spring, I decided to trust the Lord with my romantic life, lol. This goes against who I've trained myself to be in my adult life: Picking a target, making a move, and then (if the situation requires) moving from the scene unscathed. The whole idea of courting just missed me for a while because I thought a) men were lazy and didn't do that anymore (with good intent, anyway) and b) why wait on someone else when you could have what you wanted right now? Needless to say it has been unpredictable, random, amazing at times, frustrating at others...but all the same, I've relinquished control of the situation. The few times I've tried to interject, He's convicted me. Harshly. When I'm faithful to Him, He rewards me...randomly. He directed me to Psalm 46:10 last winter, so I guess I should stick with that.
9) I'm single, broke, slowing down physically from my younger days (lol), don't trust many people, and I'm overworked, but I don't think I could be happier than I am now... given my circumstances anyway. I feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be, even though right now I'm bored and struggling with what I may need to change in order to feel more fulfilled. Only time will tell...
10) I just typed "I" 37 times--in various contractions and singular usages--in the above statements. This is a record. And it will never happen again. LOL
Love this entry. I already know about #5. Don't worry about it. True friends will always be there even when life's craziness and distractions keep us from always keeping in touch. And as for #7....talk to you in 10 years when you have 3 little of yous running around and you need a baby-sitter lol!
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