Blinders off

My sisters Kristen and Rachel referred me to a verse today in the book of Isaiah.

Chapter 43, verses 1 through 10.

No time for citations, but essentially everything is already ordered; I have no control. Ever.

God wants me to know peace. And love. And happiness. But first, he wants me to know Jesus.

The excerpt from Isaiah lays out this plan. There will be low points--floods, fires, and famines, if you prefer the biblical. But in my life, sickness, loss, sadness, disappointment, heartache...but in all of these things, He wants me to come to Him. To heed Him. Not to do what seems best for me or what I determine will make my life easier. My life is not my own in that way.

In this mode, before hearing this Scripture, I woke up this morning anxious to get the day over with. Washed my hair. Showered. Prepped for the day....jewelry, clothing, socks and scents. God said "Cry. Be still. Listen". I did. Just like I did when he had the digital "penstroke" working last week.

I sat there, fully clothed and completely broken. All I wanted to do was work. That's all I have control over. Work. It is all I know these days.

God said, "Not today. Be still."

I resigned to His will. I couldn't even pick up BabyBerry, my constant companion, for a Twitter update.

He gave me no peace until, fully clothed, I lie in my bed under blankets. The calm was overwhelming. I think that was His way of hugging me, letting me know that he was there. I stayed there 3 hours, literally until I had his permission to get up

Did that provide closure or any real resolve? No, not really. But I know to wait for His blessing, I know not to stress and to keep living. I know that He will not overwhelm me with more than I can handle.

The storm is the prelude to the blessing. With my umbrella and galloshes, I'll remain humbled and faithful.

I can do no more than this.
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