The Unspoken

I'm sitting on the edge of my bed wondering why, this time, I got what I prayed for.

But who am I to question God?

I was frustrated, I was broken and disappointed. My heart, hardened--with purpose, I believe. I prayed for words, for voice, through tears. Finally, tears.

Hours later, I woke up and began to speak. Silently.

I realized that this was not my doing alone, and I didn't question what was written. I just clicked "SEND".

Numbness.

I went a few days not speaking of the unspoken, but I assume the damage is done. I'm done, too. I think.

Still frustrated, broken and disappointed...but my heart...

Someone said this would be equivalent to an amputation...something so needed, so wanted, suddenly gone. For the sake of survival...

I wonder if there could be something more to this, if this is not what is supposed to be happening. But I have no control over that. Love is a funny thing. The only constant thing, really. Eternally.

I wish I could say more.