I love Michael Cera. I mean, really. He's perhaps the most lovable, young loser in Hollywood at this point--on film at least. But above all, in each character he takes on there is a steadfastness that even the most macho or popular guy (generally pitted as his foil) cannot rival. Having admired his adorably unassuming edge in both "Arrested Development" as George Michael Bluth and in "Superbad" as Evan, I have to admit that I fell in love with him as Nick Twisp in "Youth in Revolt" just today. Or maybe it wasn't him as Nick...but as Francois Dillinger...the bad ass, suicidal French man he conjures as an alter-ego at the behest of his demanding crush, Sheeni. Twisp himself was incapable of little more than sideways snipes at his mother's lovers and a neat "self-session" undercovers before he "made" Francois. But as the movie reveals, Francois--seeing the desperation of his 16-year-old creator 1) not to be alone and more importantly, 2) not to die a virgin--seemingly reverses the roles on Twisp and recreates him....see video :)
Dillenger in Action
This movie, charming and hilarious as it is, has its obvious limitations...despite my love for Cera/Twisp/Dillinger. First and foremost, and probably the only point that need be made, there is no way in HELL that any of this could happen. To anyone. Ever. The shit that Nick Twisp goes through for Sheeni --from blowing up his mother's car and trailer and propelling his father's car off of a cliff with a rock to the gas pedal to having Sheeni drugged at school each morning to make her fail classes--is as useless and unrealistic as it is comical. But the point is that he does all of these things in order to solely catch her attention or because she's voiced her expectation for him to be a willing bad-ass (even acceptable to the point that it screws her over and gets her kicked out of French prep-school). Taken away from its context and the humor removed, we see a near universal story of boy-meets-girl/boy-likes-girl/girl-makes-expectations-known (or often plays/is hard to get)/ boy-gets-girl. If life was this formulaic, there would be no need for a Twisp to remind us of our own failures at love.
Where am I going with this? Well, there's been a slew of articles pitting black women, like myself (young, employed, educated, attractive, and supposedly "middle-class"), against black men (some with the same qualifications) and, for the overzealous blogger/columnist, against the very world in which we live and work. Black women are alone, according to these writers, because they are too smart, too demanding, too inaccessible, make too much money, work too many hours, and have too many needs. Unashamed, I admit to be one of this number of single black women over 25, but contrary to popular belief, my singleness is by choice. I can't link my choice to emotional scarring or even divine influence because neither would do justice to the freedom I feel. There is not the weight of performing femininity to the extent that I am lost in a man's expectations of me, in opposition to who I am allowed to be when he is not present-- a snort-laughing, Will Ferrell-loving gamer who prefers bare feet to stilettos and wedge heels and Blue Moons and Handi-Snacks to wine-and-cheese tastings. Nor is there the burden of dictating an impossible masculine identity to a man I am hardly allowed to know because of my stark expectations of him, a la Sheeni in "Youth in Revolt." However, it seems I'm alone in loving this freedom sometimes because people (not exclusively black men and women) get so caught up in performances of masculinity and femininity that they miss the chance to get to know the person they are interested in beyond gender.
It takes a long time for a lot of us to realize that we cannot create the man or woman we want and that this fact does not mean settling...nor does it mean to adhere to any kind of racial dating "anarchy" in revolt against a particular group of men or women who you "don't get". Love is a hell of a lot more than a list of demands and a swapping of bodily fluid, but for most, anything more seems uncomfortable...unfathomable even. While a Francois Dillinger appeals to me, it is not because I relate to the bratty, bumbling idiot that Sheeni was. It's because he was a bad-ass, pure and simple :)...and by all means not an expectation I'd place on other men. However, the point that Twisp, via Dillinger, was able to take risks on his own accord to demonstrate his affection and even vocalize his desire to be with Sheeni (regardless of how crazy he seemed to me and everyone watching the film with me) helped me visualize the way that I expect to be courted. Whoever chooses to love me should be unashamed to do so and, on his own accord, be willing to take selfless risks that will strengthen our bond. I can't define these things now of course because the ways we need to be loved change with our life experiences. And believe that I'm not asking a man to do the impossible, but more notedly to not be afraid to take a chance for fear of rejection. I just know I expect these things because this is the way that I love, which is why Cera's character(s), crazy as they were written, touched me so :).
Maybe someone will read this and completely miss the point (highly likely); others may say "me too" while laughing at my blog picturing me waiting for a Francois Dillinger ready to tell me the business. As a single black woman with both social history and "current trends" allied against me, why not dream of Francois?
Since you posted this on my birthday and it is semi-relevant to some of the things I go through in my own life, I will be the first to comment. Why is it that in the Black community, a normal, 9-5 type of man is looked upon by his peers as 'lame' or 'boring', but the bad-ass is always celebrated and (as illustrated in your review of the movie) ends up getting more attention from women?
ReplyDelete-Joel
That's a great question and my answer is "I don't know"...lol. While the "bad-ass" does have some appeal because American pop culture has provided that space (James Dean, "the Fonz", any blaxploitation star, 2Pac, etc.), most women, I think realize that this character isn't true-to-life and, if he is, to avoid him like the plague (if we are wise). On the other hand, I know women who are gluttons for punishment and often opt for the guy with the longest criminal record or the most damage left in his tracks thinking they can change him.
ReplyDeleteUsing this film as an analogy for my own view of relationships and courting, I don't praise "Francois"/"Nick" for the extremity of the risks he takes but the willingness. Like millions of other black women, I'd never expect a black man to blow up some shit for me LOL; but the point is to have expectations that he would take some other, more reasonable risks, period.
Now why are "normal, 9-5 type of" men looked at as lame? I dunno. I think those guys rock, BUT....I do have a problem when that 9-5 is the primary definer of that man. If all of his value is in his work, he is doing a disservice to himself and, eventually, to the woman he chooses who may or may not be looking at a random "bad-ass" out the corner of her eye.
Well, quite a few black men take risks for Black women, but I think the definition of what y'all call 'risks' might need tweaking.
ReplyDeleteThere are men out there going to school....getting their degrees, staying faithful to their women, taking care of their kids (those that have them)....all at the risk of having those same Black women turn their backs on them in favor of the exact opposite kind of man.
However, I agree that a man's job shouldn't be all that defines him. But lemme ask you a question: With all the focus being placed (by women) on material wealth and superficial possessions in terms of what they find attractive in a man, doesn't that tie directly into a man's job? That's why some men run around here bragging about their cars and their houses and their rims....because I never heard of any guy wowing the draws off a woman with his 1997 Honda Accord with the tape deck in it....lol
I think that if society (and women) was less materialistic as a whole, the overall quality of relationships would drastically improve.